You Say 'Torino', I Say 'Tomato'

TURIN, Italy (SNARKY) –- Read the fucking dateline, Dick Ebersol. It's Turin, as in "The Shroud Of". The only Torino I know is a Ford Grand Torino that lacks an engine and is rusting quietly in my grandfather's barn back in Iowa.

Ebersol is the chairman of NBC Sports and the man responsible for the Olympic-sized confusion. His unilateral decision to rename the northern Italy city to Torino for this year's Olympics has caused considerable consternation around the world.

To wit, I know that both names are acceptable to the Italians but make a goddamn decision, people. But how pretentious do we have to be to keep two names on the stove? Probably as pretentious as the NBC honcho whose belief that "Torino" would sell better in this country than the guttural-sounding "Turin".

Well, Ebersol and the rest of the NBC gang, the fact remains that it doesn't matter what the name of the city is that's playing host. Ratings are down significantly, while the broadcast rights are the most expensive ever. And with the Internet today, would-be viewers can get all the details of who-won-what hours before the network eats up two weeks of more profitable primetime television.

Grab a globe and the reader will see that the majority of people below the 40th parallel don't give a damn about the Winter Olympics in the first place. Snow and ice are decidedly not gold south of the Mason-Dixon Line, where the term winter is used very loosely.

So Olympics be damned. In the meantime, I'm queuing up to see the shroud here in "Turin", Dick. I'll have a little time on my hands because it won't go on display to the public until 2025.

That's probably the year that the Torino will pull a Mustang or Charger and be back in vogue with midlife-crises-having-50-year-olds.

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Technorati: Winter Olympics, Torino, NBC, Lukateake