NEW ORLEANS (SNARKY) -- Michael Chertoff, the embattled head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, has an ambitious new plan to reconstruct the levees around New Orleans.
"John Basedow's hair is the perfect material from which to construct the levees," said the balding Chertoff. "It's widely known to be 'hurricane proof', which our testing confirmed, so it's the logical choice."
Basedow began his career as a fitness model where he honed his coif's weather resistant properties.
"There was plenty of time for hair and makeup," said the shirtless Basedow. "To this day, I've never been in a wardrobe truck."
In addition to supporting the levee reconstruction effort, Basedow is an entrepreneur and commercials for his Fitness Made Simple program run late at night on third-tier cable channels.
However, Basedow is most famous for introducing a new term to the American lexicon: fitness celebrity. No one is quite sure what the hell it means but they do know that Basedow is the only one designated as such.
A timeline to begin harvesting Basedow's prodigious 70s-styled hair has yet to be released.
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Technorati: John Basedow, New Orleans, FEMA, Satire, Lukateake
2 comments:
Excellent idea, Luka!
However, any good mason knows that a dependable wall requires good bricks AND mortar.
For the latter, may I suggest a mixture of ground up "on the scene", storm-chasing news reporters with the Bush Administration's sense of infallibility.
Also, this wall should be the density of a freshly poured McDonald's shake, or Ted Danson's brow.
Actually, the strongest, thickest wall would be one constructed of Bush voter's skulls! ZING!
BTW, is that the inaugural photo in Lukateake? A picture of John Basedow?
Awesome, and congratulations.
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