Audiophile Lacks Surround-Sound System

CHICAGO (SNARKY) -- A self-proclaimed music lover is still listening to music on an archaic sound system. Wicker Park denizen Luke Penca has only two miniscule speakers on which he listens to his favorite songs at home.

"I don't know how I have overlooked it all these years," said an evasive and noncommittal Penca. "I guess I never really thought about owning one."

Friends of Penca's are equally confounded in the lack of a kickin' stereo system.

"For someone like (Penca) to not have a 5.1 tower system is really sad. And, goddamn it, frustrating!" said Andrew H., a friend who refuses to go to Penca's parties because of the stereo situation. He rhetorically continued, "What am I going to do, listen to 'Wilco' on his Bose Wave Radio? Come on, that's a bullshit setup and he knows it."

Penca thinks nothing of his music pilgrimages to Texas and points beyond during which he will spend thousands of dollars chasing great live acts. However, he just cannot bring himself to spend a few hundred dollars on a serviceable receiver and speakers setup.

"I rationalize it other ways, I really do," said an exasperated Penca. "To me it sounds just fine, plus, I ultimately prefer live music."

Exacerbating the problem is Penca's insistence on hosting every social event including today's Super Bowl party. There, attendees won't hear the thundering rumble of the game or the encompassing and enveloping crowd noise just lowly stereo sound emanating from the television's speakers.

"What the hell are we going to do about halftime?" said Zoom B., another friend of Penca's. "If he thinks that I want to listen to septagenarian Mick Jagger, he's dead wrong. That guy's terrible and should have hung 'em up decades ago. Fuck that, I'd really rather play some of my own tunes for a half hour."

However, there is hope for Penca as he has recently begun shopping for a system and has his eye on a late model Sony Dolby Digital 5.1 system on eBay.

Cautioned friend H., "You never know what you're going to get from there, maybe the speakers are already blown out, plus, it is a few years old already. But at least this situation is coming to a head."

Added Roland S., Penca's friend and guitar teacher, "I don't have the heart to tell him that Sony doesn't mean dick anymore."

# # #


Technorati: Satire, Humor, Funny, Chicago, Snarky, Lukateake