Tuesday, February 21

Yuppie Food Stamps, Credit Card Roulette

CHICAGO (SNARKY) -- Guess who's coming to dinner? Former President Andrew Jackson.

On a typical Friday night, my friends and I are enjoying some new restaurant and regaling one another with stories from our week. And, like clockwork, when the check comes everyone invariably pulls out their crisp clean $20 bills fresh from the ATM. The yuppie equivalent of food stamps.

A foreigner might think that American currency only comes in one denomination and it in this part of the city, it does really. The ATMs are almost exclusively filled with yuppie food stamps.

Back at the restaurant, when everyone has the same bills and needs change, the waitress just rolls her eyes as though she's seen this a million times before. She graciously makes change for us because her tip is still hanging in the balance.

When she returns, somehow those Hamiltons and Lincolns just don't make it back into my pocket because they're never there when I need them for cabs and drinks later. And I can't be certain the last time I saw a Washington in circulation.

In fact, it's gotten so bad that when friends ask me how a particular restaurant might be for a date, I quote the price as such: "Oh, Japonais? Dinner for two plus a bottle of wine will set you back 10 stamps."

So how do I break my reoccurring dinner date with Jackson? It's simple, go to an entirely wagered form of payment: credit card roulette.

The game is played with every participant throwing their card into the center of the table and then letting the server choose one to pick up the entire tab. To mitigate bias, shuffling is allowed or a napkin can be used to obscure the view during selection.

So what's the allure of this new form of payment?

Quoting an Irish friend, Rowland S., "Dinner with friends is good. Gambling is good. Add the two together and it's goddamn fantastic!"

Unless of course you lose, which I do routinely.

"Bigger groups, bigger tabs, less individual risk," offered Larry V., formerly of Chicago. V. has an unprecedented streak of good fortune going as he hasn't lost game of roulette yet. "When I'm out with friends now, I order the filet because I know that I'm not going to have to pay for it!"

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My friends and I have been playing Credit Card Roulette for a couple of years now. I've witnessed some painful setbacks! How has this chancy game played out for me? Let's just say, some people are born lucky...