PALO ALTO, Calif. (SNARKY) -- Just after midnight this morning, Apple's music store sold its one-billionth iTune. Shortly thereafter, an ominous "Muwahahaha" could be heard echoing from behind CEO Steve Jobs' office door.
It took less than three years to reach the milestone as iTunes and its accompanying and all-too-ubiquitous iPod became bona fide cultural phenomena. There are more than 21 million active iTunes users according to the market research firm Nielsen/Netratings and nearly all of those listeners are going deaf.
"Our plan all along was to subjugate the 'influentiati'," said Jobs, dressed as a modern day Mao in his customary black turtleneck. "We've captured the innovators and early adopters and subsequently deafened them. Without hearing ability, they're now collectively my bitch and it's only a matter of time until the laggards fall into lock-step, too."
Cultural meme
Theorists contend that the iPod-iTunes tandem represents far more than a new form of music sales channel but rather a lifestyle complete with values and beliefs.
Critics argue that Apple has deliberately and meticulously constructed this cultural niche to coincide with socioeconomic trappings that reinforce a sense of "cool". Those that have it are in, while those who don't are on the outside looking in.
"I can't tell you the last time I even talked to someone with a Rio," said Luke Penca, an Apple devotee who estimates he has purchased a half dozen iPods and more than 1,000 iTunes. "Apple may be heavy-handed and I may be subservient to them but they're still the gold standard of cultural cache."
When asked what the one billion mark meant to him, Penca said, "Well, I haven't seen this sort of blatant self-aggrandizing since those '99 Billion Served' billboards over at McDonald's."
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Technorati: Apple, iTunes, iPod, Satire, Lukateake
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