TURIN, Italy (SNARKY) –- Somebody get Bode Miller a beer, please.
Miller, the American favorite to win a multiple medals in men's downhill, is 0-for-3 in these Olympics. And apparently sober on the slopes.
His impressive one-legged skiing after clipping a gate in the super-G yesterday could only be accomplished by someone who wasn't drunk. While he may have aced the ultimate in field sobriety tests, Miller failed to finish yet another event in which a medal was within his reach.
After the acrobatic skiing, Miller veered off course and missed successive gates before leisurely making his way down and across the line. This reporter was unable to gauge Miller's diction as he wordlessly skied away from the finish area but the sweet smell of bourbon was noticeably absent.
And, Bode, spare us the neo-hippinism that medals don't matter to you. The Playmates you've been canoodling with won't commune in New Hampshire. Those ladies, my friend, require the financing of some serious endorsement money and that money only follows success on the slopes.
With the giant slalom and slalom left, Miller can still leave next week with a pair of medals but only if he races them inebriated or at least with a throbbing hangover.
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Technorati: Winter Olympics, Bode Miller, Satire, Lukateake
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1 comment:
Ugh - a throbbing hangover is exactly what I have today... Not pleasant. Your blogs, on the other hand, are quite pleasant dear Luke. Keep up the good work!
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