Saturday, March 4

Outfit Goes Horribly Wrong

CHICAGO (SNARKY) -- A Chicago man has embarrassed himself yet again, this time thanks to his turquoise velvet jacket, t-shirt, cowboy boots and belt buckle.

Luke Penca, 30, wore the outfit to dinner at Nacional 27 on Friday night and the ostentatious pairing painted him as a style train wreck.

"Pick a cliché and stick with it for chrissakes!" said a flummoxed dinner guest who asked not to be named. "It wouldn't surprise me if he has a beat up cowboy hat and a cashmere turtleneck combo in his closet."

Penca admits the fashion faux pas and vows to adjust his style next time.

"The ensemble was just too much because I was meeting most of them for the first time," said Penca, wearing only a towel standing before his expansive closet. "And this Kenny Loggins beard of mine can put people on edge as well. As a first impression, it's all just too overwhelming."

Penca's friend Steve M. was the evening's host and had graciously arranged dinner at the restaurant owned by his uncle. As such, M. invited an eclectic group of friends including Penca to dine with him.

"He's usually an interesting guest with moderately insightful commentary but, good Lord, that outfit just took on a life of it's own," said M. "And being a Texan, the boots and garish buckle were offensive to me. I wanted to kick his ass, frankly."

The poor garb also has other potential ramifications and undesired consequences.

Cautioned M., "If he's not careful with an outfit like that, he'll wind up fucking 'sixes' ... or worse."

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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, please say someone took a picture. Wish I could have been there! ;-)

Anonymous said...

Are you waiving the white flag lukateake? That velvet jacket was your "A" game.

Better get those zegna suits lined up, Theo -- I think we got a defector.

Anonymous said...

IMHO, velvet in the fall or winter is always acceptable. Aside from it's warming qualities, I still posit that chicks at bars touch you more when you're wearing soft-looking materials. For a perv like lukateake, that's a definite plus!

As for cowboy-gear, that's ALWAYS in! It's just too bad that Brokeback Mountain had to come out and put the whole "gay cowboy" meme back on the collective front burner. And just when the cowboy look had overcome the Village People comeback...

But don't give in buddy - Team Velvet may go into hibernation for the spring/summer season - but we'll be back with a vengeance in September, ready to brush against a fresh crop of unwitting girls in tightly packed bars...

Lukateake said...

Rol, the picture behind your comment above is fargin' hilarious!

Team Velvet in 2006!