CHICAGO (SNARKY) -- I finally broke down today and bought a comb. I haven't used one in at least 10 years. It's not because I'm a hippie or unkempt nor because I lack hair from male pattern baldness, which are in my opinion the three most devastating words for a man to ever hear. No, since college I have applied hair product by hand and, while some may think my approach is crude, it has always been a meticulously styled coif. And I mean meticulous in every sense of the word.
I could get by with this "hands on" approach because I always wore my hair cropped pretty short. Like most men, I've had the same basic hair style as long as I can remember. Sure there were minor deviations such as the bowl cut when I was three and living on a farm 20 miles from the nearest stylist or the now-infamous fauxhawk that weird summer of 2001. Excluding those, I've had the same predominant look my entire life.
But six months ago I stopped cutting my hair altogether and it's length and sheer volume are beyond the puny styling capabilities of my hands now. And that inadequacy sent me into Bath & Body Works today.
The last decade has not been kind to comb prices! A piece of molded plastic should not cost $33, even if it has been imported from France. That amount seems excessive to me and the comb will have no value when I inevitably return to short hair. Hell, even the lead singer of Flock of Seagulls would have a hard time of getting his money's worth at that price.
I rationalize it that it can also help comb my Jesus beard for now. At least until I shave all my hair off in a scene reminiscent of a heroin-induced Bob Geldof at the bathroom sink in "Pink Floyd The Wall".
But even that will still be less painful than that time I waxed my chest.
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Technorati: Chicago, Hair, Comb, Lukateake
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