CHICAGO (SNARKY) -- Those bastards over at "TheOnion" aren't holding up their end of the bargain according to Lukateake. The two parties' accord was that New York-based "TheOnion" would release their satire only on Wednesdays, while Lukateake had the rest of the week for his ruminations.
However, "America's Finest News Source" just announced that they're moving to a daily distribution and, thus, encroaching on Lukateake's turf.
"This means war, [expletive] … a wit war," said Lukateake, the alter ego of Luke Penca, a schizophrenic Chicago man.
"If Lukateake wants to survive in this world, he'll need to have an antagonist to channel his energy against. 'TheOnion' could provide that" said Joseph Campbell, the deceased author of the seminal book "The Hero with a Thousand Faces."
Added the deluded Lukateake, "Goodbye, job and social life, the usurpation of 'TheOnion' is my newest quest. Could the reader please point me in the direction of the nearest windmill?"
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Technorati: TheOnion, Joseph Campbell, Satire, Lukateake
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