Heart Attack Downgraded to Pneumonia

CHICAGO (SNARKY) -- A Chicago man's perceived heart attack was downgraded to pneumonia following a visit to his doctor.

Luke Penca, 30, had been complaining of chest pains since late last week when he finally sought medical advice this morning. As it turned out his walking pneumonia, while not as sexy as the heart attack he had hoped it was, can be just as lethal when left untreated.

"I've been burning the candle at both ends and everyone at work is sick as well," said a weary and contagious Penca. "Furthermore, our cheap sick-day policy doesn't help because it encourages the bedridden to drag themselves into the office."

Penca has always been overly concerned about his health even during childhood.

"My brother's a hypochondriac because he was always complaining about some ailment or another," said older sibling Michael. "I think he just want to wow us with his medical knowledge but we knew better. For example, at one point when he was 10, he claimed he needed a hysterectomy."

Doctors expect Penca to recover from his pneumonia in a few days. However, the heart attack possibility still remains unless he takes dramatic steps to remove stressors from his lifestyle.

"Starting this weekend, we'll be in full-swing March Madness and that dovetails right into the start of the Cubs season," said Penca, devouring a Whopper from Burger King.

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Technorati: Heart Attack, Pneumonia, Hypochondriac, Satire, Lukateake