Saturday, June 24

An Open Letter to My Parents

Dear Mom and Dad,

I've met this really great girl at work. Unfortunately, she broke up my marriage and I know how much you liked my former wife. Anyway, I've decided to put my career on hold and follow her around for awhile. But before you worry too much, I've saved up a little money to support us both since she's currently just a volunteer and not getting paid for her efforts.

She also has two children by different fathers who are no longer involved in the children's lives. Also, while this letter may not be the best way to tell you such important news, I don't know how to tell you otherwise: she's pregnant with my baby.

I know, I know -- we're not married. I know that you don't approve of that and you're probably thinking that I've been duped like the small-town Midwestern boy that I am. But I really like Angie and I think that we can really be happy together. Plus, she's got a great body, not that that is important but I'll mention it nonetheless.

Anyway, I've got to go as we're heading to Africa in the morning so she can have the kid.

Your son,

Bradley

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