CHICAGO (SNARKY) -- Looks like Kerry Wood will throw on Monday, a day later than originally expected. That means that I'll be there to see his arm break cleanly off his body after one pitch and land in the dugout. Greg Maddux will immediately pick the severed limb up and use it to destroy a water cooler before handing it over to Dusty Baker who will fashion it as a replacement toothpick as he serenely looks on at Wrigley Field.
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