Plasma Envy

CHICAGO (SNARKY) – I held out for as long as I could, I swear. But today I finally broke down and bought a plasma television, thereby joining the ranks of those who possess the latest wonder of technology.

Count my closest friends, at least those who aren't Luddites, among this group as well. Of course, their first question put to me was: what size? To wit, I could go on and on about HDMI (high-definition multimedia interface) and 1,000-to-1 contrast ratios and no one would give a shit. All they really want to know is the unit's length.

It's a modern day virility test for men as if it somehow correlates to their penis size. We've been there before: a snicker or hearty harrumph at the mere mention of a 32-inch screen, meanwhile at the other end of the spectrum, the back-slapping boasts of anything over 50 inches.

Maybe there really is a correlation, albeit an inverse one. I can't help but suspect those in the market for LG's massive 71-inch monitor (pictured) have some sense of inadequacy. And I bet they drive a Hummer as well.

I won't disclose my unit's vital measurement in this blog, however. The reader will just have to come over to my place and see it for herself.

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Technorati: Chicago, Plasma, Envy, Satire, Lukateake