Speech as John's Best Man

[to Lisa] Good evening, you look beautiful.

[to John] Wow! Do you realize that we've known each other for almost 20 years?

[reading off note card] John and I met when I moved to DeWitt in the seventh grade. We quickly became fast friends as John was the "cool, jock, class president" kid looking for foot soldiers to expand his empire. He saw in me -- a nebbish neophyte of a boy fresh off the farm -- someone who he could shape in his own image and, perhaps, equally willing [begins to shake fist] to rule school with an iron ffffffffffffff...

Oh, sorry, wrong speech. [retrieves note card from other breast pocket; throws both away]

In reality, John and I ran track together and we dated girls who were friends themselves. It was a natural progression that he and I would become friends as well.

We grew up in small town Iowa and had similar yet still distinctly different perspectives. In John and myself (and Amy, Bridget, Molly and Mindi), formed a different worldview than those of our classmates and we couldn't wait to expand our horizons. We knew it was a great big world out there and we couldn't wait to be party to it.

Unfortunately, the party would have to wait a little longer. I was "passed over" by M.I.T. and John had second thoughts on going to an east coast school, so we wound up as freshmen at Iowa. How fortuitous that decision would turn out to be!

While John was going to class, I was majoring in algebra avoidance and sleep conservation. The University of Iowa gave us the opportunity to meet some of our world-class friends: Andy, Kevin, Rick and Zoom among others.

We parted amicably following that freshman year and I went to Northern Iowa, John stayed and cultivated his alter ego: "Hank" who we all know and love.

Now Hank (and not John, mind you) would go on to have some wonderful encounters with Iowa City's finest and let's say just say he got some less than stellar job recommendations.

Moving right along... because this is getting long.

John graduated and moved to Chicago first, staying true to that earlier covenant to see the world. The group would follow as Kevin and I joined him at the legendary address of 2243. Oh, those were salad days, my friends. Think of it as "college with money."

During this time, John was pursuing his Master's at the University of Chicago by using the time-honored tradition of "B's get degrees." He employed his extra time in establishing great friendships with many of the guys here tonight. Larry, Rowland... Sanjaya.

John graduated with his M.B.A. and excitedly began preparations for a move to San Francisco. Again, wanting to see a bit of the world firsthand.

In one of those moments that can only be found in truly great love stories, John bowed his head and said... [notices John unbowed, goes over and physically does it for him]

John said, "Lord, thank you. Please don't change a thing in my life." Enter John's love interest: Lisa, stage left. Yeah, life's kinda funny like that; when you're not looking for true love, it blindsides you and you're not even concerned whether or not it's got insurance.

Interestingly, the backdrop for their first union was Wrigley Field after -- and I swear to God I'm not making this up -- a Cubs playoff win. You know that the stars align favorably (and exclusively) for you!

Maybe it was the crisp autumn air or the triumphant fan euphoria or, perhaps, the many beers but John and Lisa each saw a glint in one another's eye that night. And well... yadda, yadda, yadda. The rest is history as they say, which serves as a fine transition to mercifully bring us up to the present ceremony.

John and Lisa, you are two wonderful people that love one another dearly. That fact can be evidenced by the great people around you to share this moment on your wedding day.

I'll leave you with a pearl of wisdom I received from my father in the however likely or unlikely event that I do get married someday.

He said, "The easy days are easy, my son. And love is love, it's universal and without interrupt. But marriage really comes down to a question of faith. There will come a time when the two of you will find yourselves together in the most unimaginable set of circumstances. It is in that very moment, where the success of you together is solely dependent upon your absolute and complete faith in one another. Persevere; and when you're beyond your travail, your bond will forever closer and stronger. That is what it truly means to keep the faith."

With that, a toast to the happy couple. Keep the faith.

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