WASHINGTON, D.C. (SNARKY) -- Using the five year anniversary of 9/11 as a backdrop, President Bush unveiled an ambitious new strategy in the war on terror: engaging the vast resources of Google in the hunt for Osama Bin Laden.
"Google can find anything and as my best friend Homer Simpson says, 'they certainly answered my questions about wang enhancement,'" said the President.
When told that Google is only useful in finding things on the Internet and, furthermore, that Homer Simpson is just a cartoon, the President muttered a few nonsensical sentence fragments then furrowed his brow before spitting on the carpet and disappearing behind the blue curtain of the White House press room.
Ask to comment for the Mountain View, Calif. based company, CEO Eric Schmidt said, "Google steadfastly supports the war on terrorism -- from monitoring American citizens' search habits to invading their privacy to sharing our records with the Federal government -- but there is only so much we can do from here. I can put the President in contact with our Tora Bora subsidary 'Gulagle' for assistance in finding Bin Laden."
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